In a series of votes, the panel said it would urge state lawmakers not to allow gays to marry, not to recognize out-of-state same sex unions and not to set up a domestic partner registry for couples who cannot legally marry.

"My hope is before I die I will be able to approach a justice of the peace in the state of New Hampshire and be legally married," said Ed Butler, an openly gay commission member, who had submitted the recommendation for marriage. Soon afterward the panel defeated his recommendation by a 10-2 vote.

Earlier this month the panel voted to recommend a constitutional amendment stating marriage is between one woman and one man, though the measure is not expected to gain traction in the Legislature. A move on Monday to rescind that measure failed.

Also on Monday, the commissioners defeated a measure stating no religious denomination "will be required to perform any marriage which is not consonant with its doctrine."

They opted for a broader amendment stating "religious freedom being an essential right in New Hampshire, no person should be required to perform any marriage which would otherwise offend his or her conscience."

The panel, which is expected to issue its report to the Legislature on Dec. 1, has not yet taken up Vermont-style civil unions. It meets again on Oct. 31.

The commission has been meeting regularly since April, gathering testimony from the public as well as doctors, sociologists and psychologists, but their meetings often have been marked by conflicts over appointments and how to proceed.

Early in the meeting, Rep. Steve Vaillancourt, R-Manchester, distributed a letter to commission members in which he accuses Rep. Tony Soltani, R-Epsom, the panel's chairman, of using homophobic slurs against an openly gay member of the commission.

Soltani and Vaillancourt, both Republicans, sit next to each other in Representatives' Hall. Vaillancourt sent the letter to House Speaker Douglas Scamman last week. But Scamman isn't responding to the letter, so Vaillancourt took it to his fellow commission members.

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