The survey also found that 10% of Canadians would consider custom designing their perfect baby with pre-selected traits and characteristics if the technology existed.

- Never cry, would always sleep through the night and would be potty-trained by the time the squishy not-too-stinky green stuff has turned into real poop.

- Refuse to attend tumbling tykes, preschool Picassos or any of those other pricey and pointless "enrichment" activities the brats have absolutely forgotten by the time they're 10.

- Be able and willing to whip up a dinner of caesar salad, sauteed chicken with a white wine and mushroom sauce, wild rice and steamed broccoli by the age of 11. And open a nice bottle of chilled Chardonnay to go with it.

- Grow an extra nose in the middle of their forehead whenever they leave dirty clothes on the floor. The nose would vanish when the clothes were picked up, laundered, folded and returned to the closet.

- Fall into a deep Sleeping Beauty-like coma between the ages of 12 and 18, bypassing battles over homework, computer and TV use, curfews, sex, drugs and rock and roll.

- Pop out of the womb clutching a cheque for $3 trillion - just enough to cover the cost of diapers, soccer registration, school supplies, driving lessons, university tuition, a wedding and the down payment on a house.

Well, I think Mr. "Four-Letter Word" Ramsay is part of the problem. I recently received a copy of his latest cookbook, Passion for Seafood. I'm a woman who knows her way round the pantry, but even I found the recipes to be too fancy, too time-consuming and requiring too many obscure ingredients.

Perhaps it's time Mr. "Perfect Plate" Ramsay - and other celebrity chefs - climbed off their culinary clouds and started writing cookbooks about the kind of food that real people eat. Then maybe fewer of us would be so intimidated at the stove.

I have six different passwords - for direct debt, for online banking and for my home security system, plus three separate codes to access computer programs here at the Sun.

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